What kind of guy do you want?
This was the question that Anne asked me late at night, one day, while we were preparing for our upcoming internal assessment. We were all whining about the unfairness of the vast syllabus and thinking about the good ol’ days when women never had to worry about finding potential mates. For even if they couldn’t find a suitor themselves, the family would see to it and get them married as soon as they turned 16, or at the very most, 19 – A forever and ever kind of ending in just the teens(frankly, I envy them so much. Guy troubles were all they had to face).
Whereas in these times, we have to study hard, get an education and make a successful career of sorts if we are to have even a shot at getting a nice man for ourselves.
In the early days, right up to the 19th century, women were described by authors and poets as desperate to be married, or be noticed by a man or have a romance of her own. Then the feminist movement happened, and all of a sudden people thought that women are becoming independent and thus, men were no longer as important to them as they were before.
Today, especially, women from all over the world are shown to be career oriented, dynamic females who do not require men to substantiate their existence, maybe not. It’s quite true that women do have a sense of identity these days which is completely independent of a man.
However, no matter how much we deny it, women never truly give up on the concept of true love and a happily ever after. While a woman may not need a man to substantiate her very existence, she does need someone to be there for her at all times, because there are times in every woman’s life when she starts to doubt the identity that she has created for herself. There are moments when she can’t help but turn back and think about the ‘what ifs’, the ‘if onlys’, the regrets and wishes that she has harbored over the years.
In those moments, she needs somebody sturdy to support her, to reassure her that no matter what, there will always be someone to catch her before she falls.
As I thought about this, I realized that throughout my life, there hasn’t been a single man whom I could trust to come through for me. No one, that is, except my father.
He has always been there through all the big and small hurdles in my life, standing tall and strong like a beacon of light. He was there to fight for me when I was suspended from classes over some Coke cans (long story). He was there when I had nobody to talk to about a new rivalry with a previous friend of mine. Or when I subconsciously needed him to put his foot down when I was ready to throw away my entire life over a guy I met online (to be told later).
So, I wasn’t very surprised when almost of its own accord my reply came.”I want a guy who can be as good a dad as my father.” And I’m sure that in that moment, I saw a flicker of understanding in the eyes of all the girls in the room as they nodded in acceptance of my answer.
P.S- My father also happens to be 6 feet tall and a very handsome man. So when I say, ’a guy like him’, I also mean at least as tall and as good-looking as him.:P